I am finding myself on a motivation slide. After the past month at school, many interviews for different positions, helping my sister-in-law, I’m finding myself lacking the energy to want to do much of anything. I’m disappointed about not hearing on a couple of the interviews I had, and two of them i was told I was “edged out” by someone else. I guess at 53 yrs of age, being edged out is having quite an impact on me.
This is my second career, so while I have been in the work world for quite a bit, in this profession I have only 11 years under my belt. It seems like the perfect time for a step up into leadership, and yet, I’m feeling like maybe my age is causing me to lose out on some forward motion. It’s a difficult thing to face, because I still have a lot of energy and ideas of things I want to contribute and do.
I was asked by leaders in my district to apply for several of the positions, so after interviewing and then not getting them I’m doubly disappointed. I don’t think I would have applied for all of them. At this point I am trying to just focus on the job I know I have, teaching HS Integrated Math II and Pre-Calculus next year with PBL and inquiry and integrated technology. That seems like it should be enough, doesn’t it? Am I nuts wanting more?
I really love teaching. I know I am a great classroom teacher, that I do some things very effectively, and being at a new school gives me the opportunity to be a model for different teachers, while stretching and learning some new things myself. So why does this almost feel like I lost? Maybe I’m just tired and need a little rest. I really did bite off a lot last year, working both at my school site and at the district level to help make the transition to Common Core and Integrated Math easier for our teachers.
It’s all a matter of perspective, and I need to find my way out of this motivation slump and back on track.